Circle of Words

The Good Life

The one fact that I would cry from every housetop is this: the Good Life is waiting for us- here and now.

-B F Skinner

2.  Helen and Scott Nearing went in search of the good life: "simplicity, freedom from anxiety, an opportunity to be useful and live harmoniously" and they did just that.   Helen later wrote a memoir called  Loving and Leaving the Good Life.  In this book she made some suggestions for living life less stressfully. 

Comment on each suggestion (or as many as you would like).  How well do you follow each one of them?  Which ones do you need to work on? Comment however you would like

œ  Do the best you can, whatever arises.

Sometimes I do this, and sometimes I am ashamed to say, I just do enough to get by, but then it usually bothers me and I have to go back and do it right.  Sometimes I do the best that I can right then, but it isn't satisfactory to me and still have to go back and correct it if that is a possible.  I tend to be a perfectionist about some things, the things that are really important to me.  These things are not necessarily important to anyone else lol... it drives my husband nuts because there are things that he thinks are more important that I really don't care about, but I personally think it is a difference in personality.  I do try to do better in those areas though because I know it will make him happy and I like it when he is happy because I love him so.  I don't *have* to do it that way, I mean, no one is forcing me to or threatening me, it is simply that I want to do things that will make him happy.  The reason I stress that here is because it was very different in my previous non-marriage, I tried to make him happy and walked on egg shells to continue to keep peace simply because I was scared to do otherwise.  Anyway.... back to my list

œ  Be at peace with yourself.

This is a very difficult thing for me because there are so many areas that I am currently working on.  I am trying to work on my depression and anxiety and trying to be the best person I can be.  I have been accused of being a basket case and so I feel like I have to get control of my emotions or something really bad is going to happen and I don't even want to think about that.  There are too many things that can go wrong right now.  I also am working on cleaning more and doing more in the house whether I feel like it or not.  There are going to be days I just simply can't do as much as I would like, but I really need to try and do something even on those days.  I haven't been doing that, and like my dh has said, there are so many days that I feel badly that I am going to still have to do things on those days too and save the relaxing days for really really bad days because I will have those also.  I know that he is simply saying this because we have to work together to get things done as he is the same way with his health problems.  I am also working on becoming the Prov 31 women and this is such a challenge for me.  I am doing a Bible study by Elizabeth George on the Proverbs 31 women called Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman with Kathy.  I see there are so many areas that I need working on and I am trying to do that and pray and be in God's word more.  I am trying very hard to become a better person and I have so many areas to work on   I also am working on loosing the weight that I have gained over the years.  I have some things I am to be doing to be accountable.  This journal is being used for many areas to document my progress in many areas, some private and some public.  There are so many other areas that I need to work on, but this is what I am doing right now, if I do too much more I will go on overload.  I might even go on overload with this, but I am hoping not.

œ  Find a job you enjoy.

Currently I am unemployed and I was working on going to school to become a wound care nurse, but I ran out of money because of the lack of a job.  I am also trying to become a freelance writer and I have done some of that, but it is still not making enough money to support my family so I am going to go back to work.  I have a job pending, in 1 of 3 areas at one company.  I have applied for all of them and I know that I will get one, it is simply a question as to which one.  That part of it is out of my control and I am relying on God to provide the best job for me.  I know he will.  This is an area that I don't have any problems with allowing God to work in my life.  There are others that I struggle more with, but I know that he will do it as he has always provided for my family.  I probably need work in this area also, but I have not felt conviction to change so I am at peace about this.

œ  Contact nature every day; feel the earth under your feet.

I don't go outside much in the summer because I hate the heat so badly.  I need to start walking every day for my health and my weight.  I want to, I just haven't found a good time to do it.  The best time for me emotionally and physically is the afternoon, but it is the heat of the day so that isn't good either.  Also right now it is harvest time and so I have been avoiding breathing outside lol  I am horribly allergic to the mold that comes off of the wheat when it is harvested and so it is really bad now, and that has contributed to this allergy problem I have been having.  Harvest is my favorite time of the year, I love the way it smells and the way the golden dust flies off of the combines.  I simply think it is a beautiful time of year.  Now and fall are the best times.... but the worst time for my allergies.  Go figure.  I used to keep a garden with veggies and everything, but I haven't done that for several years.  I would like to have one again, or at least have some plants growing in flower beds etc, but I simply do not have enough time that is good for doing things with this fibro stuff that I need to find time to do this again.  I love the smell of dirt too, it is so sweet   I like growing things and watching the buds turn into fruit and watching God's handywork.  I still enjoy this, but I like being a part of it.  I will do it again someday, maybe when the boys are older and can help more than they can right now.  When they are older I can torture them like my parents did me and make me pull weeds.  That is the part I hate and it is simply so overwhelming lol

œ  Take physical exercise through hard work; through gardening or walking.

See, this is what I was talking about.  One of the things I really like to do when I am stressed is go and dig with a shovel and move dirt.  I know that is probably really strange but I get to smell the earth, it is hard work and it really helps me to get out the stress, but lately I haven't been doing that either as I really don't have the stamina to do that as "lazy" as I have been.  I am so out of shape it is pitiful.  I am working toward doing better in this area also.

œ  Don't worry; live one day at a time.

This is one of the areas that I am working on in becoming a Prov 31 woman.  Anxiety is wrong and it is not a good trait to have.  I am to be prepared and know that I am prepared and not worry about it.  Also I need to give it all to God and let Him do what He needs to do in my life and not worry about it.  This is very hard for me.  I wonder.... does worrying come in genetics?  Because my grandmother and my father are both worriers and so am I.  Only I try very hard not to let it show and I internalize it so much that it causes problems for me I think.  One of the areas for an example is that I am scared of storms, I don't mean little thunder boomers, but the big ones (see here for the kind of storms I am talking about)  My father always made such a big deal over them, and I understand why, but it really scared my brother and me to see our big strong father scared.  This is something that I have worked very hard at, and every time it thunders or we are in a severe thunderstorm warning, I don't show any fear and make sure my boys know that when you take the precautions you need to, there is nothing to be scared of.  I hope that I am teaching a healthy type of fear, so that they will be prepared for things, but not sit and "stew" over it.  There was one time that a big storm came and when my non-marriage ex and I lived in an older house that only had a cellar,  I freaked.  I heard the "train" sound and heard our house creak... I knew what that meant and I just KNEW that when we went upstairs that the house would be gone and I started to go into hysterics, and he of course took that opportunity to slap me   But, it was okay because I need to calm down.  The house was still there, but all the pictures on the wall were all tilted in the same direction, like they had all been subjected to a sort of suction that pulled the corners up... hmmmmmm 

œ  Share something every day with someone else.

If this means share your thoughts every day with someone else, I do... my dh, he is usually the one that gets the most of it   I also do a lot of email and this blogging is wonderful.  I have tried several times to keep a journal and I don't know why, but I never really did very good at it, never kept a diary either.  This way is wonderful and it is really working for me this time.  So, this is an area I am at peace with.  I also talk to my boys much more than they probably even want to hear lol

œ  Be kind to all creatures.

Of course!  Like another said, I don't remember, I am sorry, I am to all creatures except the buggy kind in my house.  I do save ladybugs though, I will not kill them even if they are in the house.  I take them back outside.  Here recently we saved some birdies and a rabbit.  A mamma barn swallow had been trying to make a nest on my parent's front porch in the light near the door and my dad kept taking the nest down   I didn't know about this, until after the fact.  This poor momma had been working so hard at building a safe place for her babies and my dad was causing her more work..... Anyway, one day I went out on our front porch and there was a nest mudded to our house on the top of the outdoor light.  Actually my friend had told me that she liked my nest, that it was a very unique decoration, and so I specifically went out to look.  It is a good thing I did, because the night before my dad had noticed it and was going to knock it down again.  When I mentioned it to my oldest ds he told me that my dad was going to knock it down.  I called him at work that very minute and told him that before he did it we needed to talk lol... that night he called me up and I asked him to please not knock it down, there were eggs in there and that poor mamma was desperate and tired and trying to care for her babies.  He consented to wait and so now we have baby birdies that the boys just simply love   The rabbit story is that one night I was sleeping.  I should back up, our room is in the basement and we have a window well so it is fire safety accurate or something like that lol... we have a grate on top of the hole, it has about 5 inch gaps in them and so this one night I heard something hitting that window and it really scared me.  I got up and checked all over the house because I couldn't tell where it was coming from first of all and then when I could tell where it was coming from I was scared someone was trying to break in.  Part of my PTSD is having unreasonable fears lol... Anyway... we finally determined that there was an animal in the hole.  My dad (the animal rescuer) got down in the whole with his gloves on and caught that small rabbit and set it free.  My mom says, indignantly, that the rabbit didn't even stop to say thanks... it simply ran off lol

Circle of Words

July 7, 2003

Week 26

Cooking Companions

No one who cooks cooks alone. Even at at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.

-Laurie Colwin

1.  Who taught you how to cook? Where do you get recipes and ideas for meals?  What is the one thing that you cook the best?  Do you have an item that you always seem to make for pot lucks and/or parties?

My mom was the main person who taught me how to cook.  I watched her cook and asked all kinds of questions growing up.  When I was young like about 2 or 3, I liked to lick the beaters or bowl when she was done.  I still like this (but it isn't a good plan for me )  I have an old photo somewhere that I wanted to scan and post of me licking the bowl when I was small.  Then as I grew older I would help with making small things and measuring the flour or other ingredients.  My mom stayed at home with us and so I learned a lot of things from her.  I wasn't in a day care or preschool until I was 4 and then only part time.  Therefore I saw my mom being domestic, and learned from her.  She doesn't think I learned from her, because I am not as good of housekeeper as she is , but I am trying to realize and wish she would also, that I am a different person and I will clean differently and I will cook differently too. 

We also had a very large garden and part of my chores were to pick the veggetables and then care for them.  The beans were to be snapped and the peas were to be out of the pods etc.  Then I would help my mom can quarts of veggies.  Then we would sit around the supper table eating and waiting for the lids to pop meaning they had sealed.  It was sort of a game to see who could hear and we would count them as they popped

Then when I was in middle school, I started attending the 4-H club and I was in the cooking classes every year.  I learned to make other things during that time that my mom didn't make.  I learned how to make simple recipes and cookies and pies from scratch. 

Then in highschool and late middle school, I was in home-ec and learned about making other things such as cakes and meat dishes, yet nothing too fancy.

When I was in college, I learned how to cook on a pop-corn popper and an iron with wax paper so it wouldn't get dirty.   I also lived with an Amish family for 2 months one year and learned how to cook everything from scratch.  That is how I learned how to make bread.  I love the bread that I make when I use their recipe and follow the directions that she gave me.  She also taught me how to make Amish church peanut butter which is the most delightful thing I have tasted.  They used to send it to me in care packages, but that has stopped now   but I really don't need to be eating that either.  The other thing I learned to do was to cook deer meat and to make homemade canned deer bologna, which is nothing like the bologna we buy in the store, it is more like summer sausage.  It is really good grilled over a gas stove in a cheese sandwich on the homemade bread

Then in college I lived in Dominican Republic for 3 months and learned to cook like they do there.  I learned to make con con which is the crispy part of the rice along the sides of the pan that is really good and has it's own unique flavor.  I learned to make several different dishes there which has also influenced my cooking now.

I know there is another part to my circle of words writing, but I am getting tired and I think I am going to finish this tomorrow.