June 28, 2003

June 12, 2003

  • Humility


    well now for me.... that is a difficult topic to actually nail down.
    There is a fine line between humility and poor self esteem, and I have not
    mastered the difference yet.  The dictionary definition of humility is
    meekness, modesty, lower yourself, to lower your self esteem, and worth.
    Yet, to do so to the extreme can be detrimental to one's self.  If your self
    esteem is too low, you will not be able to function properly, and actually
    lead to self hate at time.  This, is not humility.  I think, from what I
    have learned so far, that humility is to not consider yourself better than
    others and to love others.  Then, if you are on an equal plane with others,
    you will not be prideful, and you will not have self esteem problems.

  • The love of Christ is like the healing salve for my infected thoughts and aching soul

  • Taking a break from caring for very sick children in the PICU station, I leaned over the desk, just chatting with the other nurses sitting there.  It was shift change and I was waiting to give report to the oncoming nurse.  On the desk, someone had left us a basket of tootsie rolls.  I, having a severe craving for chocolate, took one, and slowly unwrapped it as I turned around to glace at the monitor of my patient who had only 3 hours earlier been brought back from surgery.  I put the candy into my mouth and started chewing on that very soft and sticky candy.  I turned back around to say something to one of the nurses and realized that the once delightful candy was now caught in my throat and on the way to being the weapon of my death.  I quickly put my hands up to my neck in the universal sign for choking, everyone else being engrossed in report by now, didn't notice my plight.  What was I to do.  I was quite panicky by now, as I couldn't breathe.  I started hitting the desk hoping that someone would notice me.  Finally, as my lips were surely turning a dark shade of blue, one of my coworkers noticed me.  She quickly came over and performed the Heimlich maneuver on me, the once satisfying little chunk flew out of my mouth and hit the floor with a silent plunk.  No one else really noticed the situation, and continued on with report.  To this day, I do not eat tootsie rolls, no matter what that owl says on the TV!

June 8, 2003

  • ~from 2/24/03 (Monday)

    THE BATTLE OF THE MIND

    Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . . There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 7:25; 8:1).

    Romans 7:22, 23, pinpoints the battleground for the contest between me and sin: "For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members."

    Where does my desire to do what's right reside? Paul uses the phrase "the inner man," referring to my new self where my spirit and God's Spirit are in union. This is the eternal part of me. And where does sin wage its war to keep me from doing what I really want to do? In the physical members of my body (James 4:1). Sin operates through my flesh, that learned independence that continues to promote rebellion against God. This is the temporal part of me. Where then do these two opponents wage war (Galatians 5:17)? The battleground is my mind. That's why it is
    so important that we learn how to renew our minds (Romans 12:2) and to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

    Paul concluded his description of the contest between sin and the new self with the exclamation: "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24). Notice that he didn't say, "Sinful man that I am !" Wretched means miserable, and there is no one more miserable than the person who has allowed sin to reign in his mortal body. If we use our bodies as instruments of unrighteousness, we give the devil an
    opportunity in our lives, and he brings only misery.

    The good news is that Romans 7:24 is followed by Romans 7:25 and Romans 8:1: "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." The battle for the mind is a winnable war.

    Thank You, Jesus, for knowing me, understanding me, and providing for me a way of escape for every possible temptation.

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

    how do we win that war?  How, by taking every thought captive?  I also always thought wretched meant horrible, worthless etc... I didn't know that it meant miserable.  I can relate to that, I thought it was saying that we are worthless.  Goodness... was I wrong.  He didn't say he was even a sinful man, he said he was miserable because of the sin in him..... I need to think of it that way, not the other way. 

    I am finding that I am having a battle of the mind so much more in the last couple days, is that because I am fighting the negative thoughts rather than giving in to them and actually leaning on them?  Or is the devil fighting harder for my mind than it was?  Or could it be a combination of both?  I did give in for a bit today when I felt like all I ever do is wrong things.  I did do something wrong and I need to learn to not do those things... but it didn't make me a bad person because of it right?  That is what I felt... that I was bad and horrible and not worthy of anything good... that I was evil and don't even deserve to live.... I let those things float in my mind a bit, but then I discussed some of what I was thinking with my "onsite technician" and he helped me to see the light.... and since then I have been working at thinking positive thoughts... it is hard when it is something new for me... not that thinking positively is hard, but thinking positively about me is hard.  I am scared to think positively about my situation with Eli and his visitations though because I am scared that my hopes will be dashed one more time and I don't know that I can take that again.... it has happened way to many times.... Eli and I never win when it comes to the court things...

    Please continue to pray for the situation and also for my positive thoughts about myself so that I can help Eli to heal and think good things about himself.

  • ~ actually from 2/24/03 (Monday)


    When we are honest with ourselves, something that can be very difficult
    sometimes, we begin to grasp the full scope of God's love and mercy towards
    us. Over and over again our actions merit our calling out to God like the
    psalmist, declaring "I have sinned against You", and because of this humble
    "integrity" God will hear and respond. Through the prophet Isaiah God tells
    us that the sins of the past that we have burdened Him with He "remembers no
    more" when we confess them and ask for forgiveness. He does this "for My own
    sake" so that man will glorify Him instead of glorifying himself and
    becoming puffed up with pride. St.Paul reminds us that our God is true to
    His promises, He will never say "No" to a soul that approaches Him with
    humble faith. Our God is pure and perfect love, He is a God of action who
    has "sealed us and given us the Spirit" as a sign of His love and fidelity
    towards us. St.Mark also gives us a story that shows us how powerful God's
    love and mercy is. Somehow or someway these men in today's Gospel find a way
    to present their crippled friend to Jesus. Amazed at their faith and
    perseverance Jesus is moved to action and He forgives the man's sins. The
    indignant scribes immediately take offense because Jesus is doing something
    that only God can do. Knowing their hearts and wishing to tear down the
    barrier of pride that separates them Jesus offers them two courses of
    action. Certainly it would be easy to "say" your sins are forgiven, anyone
    could say that, but to actually have the power to do it had to be an act of
    God. To prove He possessed that kind of power Jesus picks the harder of the
    two tasks and heals the man of his physical brokenness. Stunned and amazed
    the crowd soon realizes what they have just witnessed and give glory and
    praise to God, the only sacrifice He wants from us. When we go to God with
    our weaknesses He heals a little bit of us each day. We may not have to
    break through rooftops to approach Him, but we all have barriers that keep
    us away. The only ones that can are the ones we refuse to tear down, and
    today's readings encourage us to do just that. Fear of the truth about
    ourselves is the biggest barrier that keeps us away, and only when we tear
    away those "roof tiles" can we take up our mats and go home!

    God bless you,
    In Jesus - Pat


     

     

    Again... forgiveness of our sins.... fear of the truth about ourselves is the biggest barrier that keeps us away, so true, so true.  This is something I need to do also... to remove the roof tiles so that I can take up my mat and go home... I am not ready to go home yet... God is still working on me perfecting me.  Although I have been wanting to die, I really am not ready to meet God yet, even though I want to.  I have way to many sins and problems in my life that God wants to perfect in me before I come home.  I need to face these problems head on and confess my sins, admit them and then confess them to God and then be filled with His grace so that I may continue on.


  • ~ this is something from 2/23/03 (Sunday)

     

    A STRUGGLING SAINT

    I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the
    very thing I hate (Romans 7:15).

    Perhaps the most vivid description of the contest with sin which
    goes on in the life of the believer is found in Romans 7:15-25.
    In verses 15 and 16, Paul describes the problem: "For that which
    I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I
    would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I
    do the very thing I do not wish to do, I agree with the Law,
    confessing that it is good."

    Notice that there is only one player in these two verses--the
    "I," mentioned nine times. Notice also that this person has a
    good heart; he agrees with the law of God. But this good-hearted
    Christian has a behavior problem. He knows what he should be
    doing but, for some reason, he can't do it. He agrees with God
    but ends up doing the very things he hates.

    Verses 17-21 uncover the reason for this behavior problem: "So
    now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which indwells me.
    . . . If I am doing the very thing I do not wish, I am no longer
    the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me." How many players
    are involved now? Two: sin and me. But sin is clearly not me;
    it's only dwelling in me. Sin is preventing me from doing what I
    want to do.

    Do these verses say that I am no good, that I am evil, or that I
    am sin? Absolutely not. They say that I have something dwelling
    in me which is no good, evil, and sinful, but it's not me. If I
    have a sliver in my finger, I could say that I have something in
    me which is no good. But it's not me who's no good. I'm not the
    sliver. The sliver which is stuck in my finger is no good. I am
    not sin and I am not a sinner. I am a saint struggling with sin
    which causes me to do what I don't want to do.

    Romans 6:12 informs us that it is our responsibility not to allow
    sin to reign in our lives. Sin will reign if we use our bodies as
    instruments of unrighteousness (Romans 6:13). We must renounce
    every such use and submit our bodies to God as instruments of
    righteousness.

    Thank You, Lord, that I don't have to sin. You made it possible
    for me to control sin's power over me. You delivered me from the
    wages of sin and blessed me with the gift of eternal life in
    Christ.
     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

    wow!

    this is amazing.... see now my thinking was that I am bad and I am worthless because I AM a sinner, that sin is in me, how can God look on me as a sinner, how can I even be what He would want me to be.  This just hit me straight between the eyes..... sin is like a sliver and it needs to be removed and doesn't make me a bad person, doesn't make me worthless....

    So when I do things that I miss the mark on so to speak, I am not bad or worthless, this is my cop out per se, it is my way of saying I can't do this, I am not worth trying, and it gives me a way to not work on things.... I am not going to do that any more.... I am going to keep working and get the sin out of me.  I will be confessing my sins more often than what I have been.  This way I will be clean and worthy of Christ in me and I will receive the grace that will help me grow closer to God and to be the person that God wants me to be and help me meet the mark more often.

     

    Please keep me accountable to do this.... I need to remember that although there are bad things in me, they need to be removed so that I may be closer to God and not so focused on the bad stuff.

     

    I think I will be talking to Eli about this tonight to try and help him see that he isn't a bad child maybe the sliver analogy will help him too, it is simple and it is effective

  • To Whom was this Revelation GIVEN? (1:1, 1:4)


    The Revelation was first given to Jesus Christ by God, then God gave it to His angel to reveal it to John.  John was the vessel to tell all of God's servants, which in turn John told the 7 churches in Asia.  Jesus is not a servant, Jesus is God, therefore the message was not to reveal it to Him, but to make it known through Jesus.


    Who was the Revelation FROM? (1:1)


    The Revelation was from God to the servants of God
    In the Greek there are 2 forms of "he, him, his"
    1.  The revelation of Jesus Christ (meaning this was to tell of Jesus Christ), which God gave Him (avros... meaning a pronoun referring to the previous, Jesus Christ) to show to His (o... referring to the noun doing the action which in this case would be God) servants (God's servants) what must soon take place; and He (o... meaning God again) made it known by sending His (o... meaning God again) angel to His (o... meaning God again) servant John.
     
    God used His angel to give the message to John.
     


    Where did Jesus Christ get the information which He is relating in this Prophecy? (1:1)


    Jesus had the information already because He is God, God revealed Jesus Christ to John through God's angel.  See above :0)


    Jesus didn't "get" the information, and Jesus didn't do the relating of the Prophecy, the angel of God did.  Jesus is not the angel, Jesus is God.


    WHY was the Revelation given? (1:1, 1:3, 1:19)


    To reveal Jesus Christ to God's servants, to John, so that John could give the revelation to the 7 churches of Asia, and to write it down to pass to others outside of the 7 churches of Asia


    Where was John and what was he DOING when this prophecy was revealed to him? (1:9-10)


    John was sharing in the tribulation with the other servants of God, all of the people who were Christians at that time were being persecuted for their Faith.  Many were beaten, crucified, beheaded, jailed, etc for speaking about Christ.  This was the tribulation.... John was in the midst of it.  John was also sharing the kingdom of Heaven with other Christians... meaning that we are all God's children and we are going to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.  John was also patiently waiting, enduring the time of waiting for the return of Christ.  He was doing all of this on the island of Patmos because he had been testifying to the Word of the Lord and to Jesus Christ the risen Lord.  At the exact time of the Revelation, John was in the Spirit of the Lord... he was worshiping God, he was meditating on Jesus, and it was the Lord's Day, which actually in that time, was on Saturday.


    And, by the way? Who is this 'John' who is receiving this prophecy? Is it John the Baptist? Or John the Apostle? Or some other John? Well, the answer to that question is not really in the text of Revelation. So, I'll just tell you. Most Theologians agree that this is John the Apostle, the 'beloved apostle', who was one of the 12 Disciples (Apostles) of Jesus Christ. John also wrote the Gospel of John and the three smaller books bearing his name: 1 John, 2 John, and 3 John. So, whenever you read those books and see various terms such as "I (Jesus) am the door...." , etc., chances are pretty good that there is a correlation and relationship between the words in those books and in this book since they are written by the same author.


    Why was John on the small (4 by 8 miles), rocky Island of Patmos (which was located about 50 or 60 miles southwest of Ephesus, off the coast of modern day Turkey, in the Aegean Sea, which is near the northeastern end of the Mediterranean Sea), worshiping on the Lord's day ? (1:9)


    Because he had been preaching the word of the Lord and giving testimony to the risen Lord.


    Yes! It is because John had been exiled to the island of Patmos (a Roman penal colony) for preaching the word of God and speaking about Jesus. John, at the time this Revelation was given to him, was actually under arrest and in the prison (penal) colony on the Island of Patmos. He had been sent there by the Romans for the 'crime' of preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Oh, and FYI (for your information), most people believe that this revelation occurred to John in about 95 or 96 AD, approximately 60 or so years after Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection


    You probably also noted, as you answered those questions after reading Chapter 1, that this Revelation was from Jesus Christ and was given to John and to the 7 churches in Asia. And, you also observed that Jesus had received this Revelation (Prophecy, unveiling, disclosure, Apocalypse) from God the Father. And, furthermore, you discovered that the reason this prophecy is being given is so that John and God's other servants (and that includes you and me as well as the 7 churches in Asia) would be aware of what is coming in the future.


    yes... except the revelation didn't come from Christ, it came from God and was about Christ, and was given to John through an angel of God.  Jesus didn't receive this information from God, Jesus was the information :0)


    So, at the time of this Revelation, it was the Lord's day and John was worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ, whom he served. In fact, some of the things that John had been praying, or perhaps even singing, during his time of worship are given for us in Revelation 1:4b-7. John already 'knew' that Jesus was coming again because Jesus had told him this when He was here on earth and also because of the many Old Testament prophecies of which John was aware. Indeed, there are many places in the Old Testament where prophecies about Jesus had been given and this is one example, for, Rev. 1:7 is actually a quotation from Zechariah 12:10 which says: " ...they will look on me (Jesus), the one they have pierced, and they will mourn for him (Jesus) ..."


    But, we must continue on.


    I found it very interesting that as I was reading, most of this first chapter was direct quotes from other parts of the Bible, either what Christ had revealed about Himself earlier when He was in human form on earth, and what Jesus had fulfilled by His death and resurrection that had been prophesied earlier in the Old Testament.


    Much of the description of Jesus Christ that is written down is in symbols which actually mean something.  Many of the writings of the New Testament that were during the tribulation and persecution of the Christians were written in a code of sorts... kind of like the shape of the simple fish that we have today... it means Christian.  The story of that is that when Christians were being persecuted, they would draw this simple fish in the sand or gravel when they were talking with another person and if that other person would draw one back then they each knew that they were talking to another Christian.  But if the other person didn't do anything, then they knew that they had to watch what they were saying because they were not a Christian and might persecute them further.  This is the same for the symbols that are in the verses that refer to the appearance of Christ.  Saying that He had a 2 edged sword coming out of His mouth doesn't mean that He had this knife sticking out of His mouth... what a violent picture... it meant something symbolic to the people who were reading it at the time, that knew what those symbols meant and it meant nothing to anyone else who would be reading it.  I haven't been able to look up what these mean yet, but I will.


    As you marked the 'Jesus' words and the 'God the Father' words, you doubtless saw an amazing and rather detailed description of what Jesus looks like in His glorified post-resurrection body.


    See above, this isn't exactly what Christ will look like in His post resurrection body, it is symbols of what John was describing to the people at that time. 


    Yes, John had known Jesus as a man! And John also had known that Jesus was also GOD. But, now, at the time of this Revelation, John is actually seeing Jesus as God and in His resurrected form! Jesus is appearing to John in the appearance in which all of us will one day see Him !


    I would like to clarify... Jesus didn't appear to John, the angel was the one that was present, but the angel gave John a vision of Jesus... I know... technical, but it is significant.


    So, your assignment now is to read Chapter 1 again and, as you read,
    make a list which describes Jesus when He appeared to John at the time
    this Revelation was given. Also include any terms which tell Who Jesus is,
    what He does, or in any other way describe or refer to Jesus.


    I will begin the list for you as an example: (And, as I do in the example below, you should also put the reference where you find your 'information' by what you write. This will help you find it more easily in the future. In fact, this is a good thing to always do when you make any list or record any information.)


    JESUS CHRIST
     
    who is


    who was


    who is to come


    the faithful witness


    the first-born of the dead


    the ruler of kings on earth


    who loves us


    freed us from our sins by his blood


    made us a kingdom


    made us priests to his God and Father


    glory and dominion for ever and ever


    he is coming with the clouds


    every eye will see him


    all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him


    the Alpha and the Omega


    the Almighty.


    son of man


    the first


    the last


    the living one


    alive for evermore


    he has the keys of Death and Hades


    The symbols are as follows:


    12 Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, 13 and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man Son of Man: an enigmatic title. It is used in Daniel 7:13-14 has a symbol of "the saints of the Most High," the faithful Israelites who receive the everlasting kingdom from the Ancient One (God). They are represented by a human figure that contrasts with the various beasts who represent the previous kingdoms of the earth. In the Jewish apocryphal books of 1 Enoch and 4 Ezra the "Son of Man" is not, as in Daniel, a group, but a unique figure of extraordinary spiritual endowments, who will be revealed as the one through whom the everlasting kingdom decreed by God will be established. It is possible though doubtful that this individualization of the Son of Man figure had been made in Jesus' time, and therefore his use of the title in that sense is questionable. Of itself, this expression means simply a human being, or, indefinitely, someone, and there are evidences of this use in pre-Christian times. Its use in the New Testament is probably due to Jesus' speaking of himself in that way, "a human being," and the later church's taking this in the sense of the Jewish apocrypha and applying it to him with that meaning. Rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes: the supreme council called the Sanhedrin was made up of seventy-one members of these three groups and presided over by the high priest. It exercised authority over the Jews in religious matters, clothed with a long robe Christ is priest and with a golden girdle round his breast Christ is king; 14 his head and his hair were white as white wool, white as snow Christ is eternal, clothed with the dignity that belonged to the "Ancient of Days; his eyes were like a flame of fire Christ is portrayed as all-knowing, 15 his feet were like burnished bronze, refined as in a furnace Christ is depicted as unchangeable, and his voice was like the sound of many waters Christ speaks with divine authority; 16 in his right hand he held seven stars Seven stars: in the pagan world, Mithras and the Caesars were represented with seven stars in their right hand, symbolizing their universal dominion, from his mouth issued a sharp two-edged sword A sharp two-edged sword: this refers to the word of God that will destroy unrepentant sinners, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength this symbolizes the divine majesty of Christ.


    Other interesting facts :0)... aren't you all so glad I am here lol..... and things to think about....


    4 John to the seven churches that are in Asia:Seven churches in Asia: Asia refers to the Roman province of that name in western Asia Minor (modern Turkey); these representative churches are mentioned by name in, and each is the recipient of a message.  Seven is the biblical number suggesting fullness and completeness; thus the seer is writing for the whole church


    Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits (these are the highest angels that are in Heaven... the archangels, which Gabriel is one of them the one who revealed to the Virgin Mary that she would bare the Christ child) who are before his throne, 5 and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the first-born of the dead (the first born of the dead... He is risen (born) from the dead and He is the first, we will be next upon His return to get us... that is why He is called the first born of the dead), and the ruler of kings on earth (self explanatory :0)).


    To him who loves us and has freed us Freed us: the majority of Greek manuscripts and several early versions read "washed us"; but "freed us" is supported by the best manuscripts and fits well with Old Testament imagery from our sins by his blood 6 and made us a kingdom, priests (someone who proclaims the Gospel of the Lord ~ all who bear witness to Christ ~ that would be all of us) to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. 7 Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, every one who pierced him ( this is all of us too, because with every sin, we pierce Him, we are all sinners and fall short of the Glory of God and therefore we all have pierced Him and continue to do so as we live day to day because of our sinful nature); and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him. Even so. Amen.


    8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.


    9 I John, your brother, who share with you in Jesus the tribulation (does this mean that they were in tribulation then, and we are still in tribulation now?  has it really stopped, is it really starting now as people say?  according to this, it seems that the minute that Christ left, was when the tribulation started) and the kingdom and the patient endurance, was on the island called Patmos on account of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. 10 I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet 11 saying, "Write what you see in a book and send it to the seven churches, to Ephesus and to Smyrna and to Per'gamum and to Thyati'ra and to Sardis and to Philadelphia and to La-odice'a." (these places are no longer in existence, or they have different names, I can tell you where they were also further on down in the email) In this first vision, the seer is commanded to write what he sees to the seven churches. He sees Christ in glory, whom he depicts in stock apocalyptic imagery, and hears him describe himself in terms meant to encourage Christians by emphasizing his victory over death


    12 Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me (meaning he turned around, he was startled, he wanted to see what was going on, and when he turned around, he didn't see the angel... he saw the vision of Christ as is described next) A symbolic description of Christ in glory. The metaphorical language is not to be understood literally, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, 13 and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man (like the son of man... this means that He was a vision, not actually there... but it is a vision of Christ), clothed with a long robe and with a golden girdle round his breast; 14 his head and his hair were white as white wool, white as snow; his eyes were like a flame of fire, 15 his feet were like burnished bronze, refined as in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of many waters; 16 in his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth issued a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength.


    17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. It was an Old Testament belief that for sinful human beings to see God was to die  But he laid his right hand upon me, saying, "Fear not, I am the first and the last, 18 and the living one; I died, and behold I am alive for evermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades. 19 Now write what you see, what is and what is to take place hereafter.  What you have seen, and what is happening, and what will happen afterwards: the three parts of the Book of Revelation, the vision, the situation in the seven churches (Rev 2-3), and the events of Rev 6-22.  20 As for the mystery of the seven stars which you saw in my right hand, and the seven golden lampstands, the seven stars are the angels of the seven churches and the seven lampstands are the seven churches. (these are the 7 churches of Asia referred to earlier) Secret meaning: literally, "mystery." Angels: these are the presiding spirits of the seven churches. Angels were thought to be in charge of the physical world and of nations, communities (the seven churches), and individuals.  Some have seen in the "angel" of each of the seven churches its pastor or a personification of the spirit of the congregation
    RSV


    about the 7 churches of Asia:
     
    Ephesus
    A titular archepiscopal see in Asia Minor, said to have been founded in the eleventh century B.C. by Androcles, son of the Athenian King Codrus, with the aid of Ionian colonists. Its coinage dates back to 700 B.C., the period when the first money was struck. After belonging successively to the kings of Lydia, the Persians, and the Syrian successors of Alexander the Great, it passed, after the battle of Magnesia (199 B.C.), to the kings of Pergamum, the last of whom, Attalus III, bequeathed his kingdom to the Roman people (133 B.C.). It was at Ephesus that Mithradates (88 B.C.) signed the decree ordering all the Romans in Asia to be put to death, in which massacre there perished 100,000 persons. Four years later Sulla, again master of the territory, slaughtered at Ephesus all the leaders of the rebellion. From 27 B.C. till a little after A.D. 297, Ephesus was the capital of the proconsular province of Asia, a direct dependency of the Roman Senate. Though unimportant politically, it was noted for its extensive commerce. Many illustrious persons were born at Ephesus, e.g. the philosophers Heraclitus and Hermodorus, the poet Hipponax, the painter Parrhasius (all in the sixth or fifth century B.C.), the geographer Artemidorus, another Artemidorus, astrologer and charlatan, both in the second century of the Christian Era, and the historian and essayist, Xenophon. Ephesus owed its chief renown to its temple of Artemis (Diana), which attracted multitudes of visitors. Its first architect was the Cretan Chersiphron (seventh to sixth century B.C.) but it was afterwards enlarged. It was situated on the bank of the River Selinus and its precincts had the right of asylum. This building, which was looked upon in antiquity as one of the marvels of the world, was burnt by Herostratus (356 B.C.) the night of the birth of Alexander the Great, and was afterwards rebuilt, almost in the same proportions, by the architect Dinocrates. Its construction is said to have lasted 120 years, according to some historians 220. It was over 400 feet in length and 200 in breadth, and rested upon 128 pillars of about sixty feet in height. It was stripped of its riches by Nero and was finally destroyed by the Goths (A.D. 262).


    It was through the Jews that Christianity was first introduced into Ephesus. The original community was under the leadership of Apollo (I Cor., i, 12). They were disciples of John the Baptist, and were converted by Aquila and Priscilla. Then came Paul, who lived three years at Ephesus to establish and organize the new church; he was wont to teach in the schola or lecture-hall of the rhetorician Tyrannus (Acts, xix, 9) and performed there many miracles. Eventually he was obliged to depart, in consequence of a sedition stirred up by the goldsmith Demetrius and other makers of ex-votoes for the temple of Diana (Acts, xv111, 24 sqq.; xix, 1 sqq.). A little later, on his way to Jerusalem, he sent for the elders of the community of Ephesus to come to Miletus and bade them there a touching farewell (Acts, xx, 17-35). The Church of Ephesus was committed to his disciple, Timothy, a native of the city (I Tim., 1, 3; II Tim., 1, 18; iv, 12). The Epistle of Paul to the Esphesians was not perhaps addressed directly to them; it may be only a circular letter sent by him to several churches. The sojourn and death of the Apostle John at Ephesus are not mentioned in the New Testament, but both are attested as early as the latter part of the second century by Irenaeus (Adv. Haer., III, iii, 4), Polycrates, Bishop of Ephesus (Eusebius, Hist. Eccl., V, xxi), Clement of Alexandria, the "Acta Joannis", and a little earlier by Justin and the Montanists. Byzantine tradition has always shown at Ephesus the tomb of the Apostle. We learn, moreover, from Eusebius (Hist. Eccl., V, xxiv) that the three daughters of the Apostle Philip were buried at Ephesus.


    About 110 Ignatius of Antioch, having been greeted at Smyrna by messengers of the Church of Ephesus, sent to it one of his seven famous epistles. During the first three centuries, Ephesus was, next to Antioch, the chief centre of Christianity in Asia Minor.  Egyptian influence was responsible for the hold which Monophysitism gained at Ephesus during the sixth century; the famous ecclesiastical historian, John of Asia, was then one of its bishops. The metropolis of Ephesus in those days ruled over thirty-six suffragan sees. Justinian, who imitated Constantine in stripping the city of many works of art to adorn Constantinople.


    Ephesus was taken in 655 and 717 by the Arabs. Later it became the capital of the theme of the Thracesians.  The city was captured in 1090 and destroyed by the Seljuk Turks, but the Byzantines succeeded in retaking it and rebuilt it on the neighbouring hills around the church of  John. Henceforth it was commonly called Hagios Theologos (the holy theologian, i.e.  John the Divine), or in Turkish Aya Solouk (to the Greeks the Apostle  John is "the Theologian"); the French called the site Altelot and the Italians Alto Luogo. At the beginning of the thirteenth century its metropolitan, Nicholas Mesarites, had an important role at the conferences between the Greeks and the Latins. The city was again plundered by the Turks in the first years of the fourteenth century, then by the Catalonian mercenaries in the pay of the Byzantines, and once more by the Turks. The church of St. John was transformed into a mosque, and the city was ruled by a Turkish ameer, who carried on a little trade with the West.  The ruin of Ephesus was completed by Timur-Leng in 1403 and by nearly a half-century of civil wars among its Turkish masters. 


    Today Aya Solouk has 3000 inhabitants, all Greeks. It is situated in the caza of Koush Adassi, in the vilayet of Aiden or Smyrna, about fifty miles from Smyrna, on the Smyrna-Aidin railway. The ruins of Ephesus stand in the marshy and unhealthy plain below the village. There are the remains of the temple of Diana, the theatre, with a capacity of 25,000 spectators, the stadium, the great gymnasium, and the "Double Church", probably the ancient cathedral. The Greek metropolitan resides at Manissa, the ancient Magnesia.


    Smyrna
    The city of Smyrna rises like an amphitheatre on the gulf which bears its name. It is the capital of the vilayet of Aïdin and the starting-point of several railways; it has a population of at least 300,000, of whom 150,000 are Greeks. There are also numerous Jews and Armenians. It was founded more than 1000 years B.C. by colonists from Lesbos who had expelled the Leleges, at a place now called Bournabat, about an hour's distance from the present Smyrna. Shortly before 688 B.C. it was captured by the Ionians, under whose rule it became a very rich and powerful city (Herodotus, I, 150). About 580 B.C. it was destroyed by Alyattes, King of Lydia. Nearly 300 years afterwards Antigonus (323-301 B.C.), and then Lysimachus, undertook to rebuild it on its present site. Subsequently comprised in the Kingdom of Pergamus, it was ceded in 133 B.C. to the Romans. These built there a judiciary conventus and a mint. Smyrna had a celebrated school of rhetoric, was one of the cities which had the title of metropolis, and in which the concilium festivum of Asia was celebrated. Demolished by an earthquake in A.D. 178 and 180, it was rebuilt by Marcus Aurelius. In 673 it was captured by a fleet of Arab Mussulmans. The Latins captured it from the Mussulmans in 1344 and held it until 1402, when Tamerlane destroyed it after slaying the inhabitants. In 1424 the Turks captured it and, save for a brief occupation by the Venetians in 1472, it has since belonged to them.


    Christianity was preached to the inhabitants at an early date. As early as the year 93, there existed a Christian community. 



    Pergamus
    A titular see, suffragan of Ephesus. This city was situated on the banks of the Selinus. It was at first a city of refuge, as its name indicates, for the people of the plain, and has been regarded as a colony of Arcadians. The Greek historians have reconstructed for it a complete history because they confused it with the distant Teuthrania. It is mentioned for the first time by Xenophon ("Anab.", VII, viii, 8; "Hellen.", III, i, 6). Captured by Xenophon in 399 and immediately recaptured by the Persians, it was severely punished in 362 after a revolt. It did not become important until Lysimachus, King of Thrace, took possession, 301 B. C. His lieutenant Philetairos enlarged the town, which in 281 he made the capital of the new kingdom which he founded. In 261 he bequeathed his possessions to his nephew Eumenius I (263-41 B. C.), who increased them greatly, leaving as heir his cousin Attalus I (241-197 B. C.).


    Its highest prosperity was reached under his son Eumenius II (197-59 B. C.). He founded a school of sculpture, built in memory of his exploits a magnificent marble altar adorned with a battle of the giants (Ampelius, "Miracula Mundi", 14), the splendid remains of which are in the museum of Berlin, and finally founded the celebrated library. Attalus III at his death in 133 B. C. bequeathed his kingdom to Rome. Aristonicus, natural son of Eumenius II, endeavoured to restore the monarchy, but he was captured in 129 B. C. by Perpenna, and the kingdom was annexed to the Roman Empire under the name of Asia Propria. It is worthy of mention that parchment was discovered there, and that the physician Galen was a native.


    Although long occupied by the Turks the town was still a metropolis in 1387.


    In 610 the body of Emperor Phocas was burned in a brazen ox brought from Pergamus. In the seventh century an Armenian colony, much attached to Monophysitism, and from which sprang the Byzantine Emperor Philippicus Bardanes (711-13), established itself there. In 716 the Arab general Maslama captured the town. From this period dates its decline. It was rebuilt on a smaller scale and formed part of the theme of Thrakesion. Constantine Porphyrogenitus still speaks of it (De themat., I, 24, 5-13) as a brilliant city of Asia. In 1197 the French of the Second Crusade halted there. The town had already suffered from Turkish incursions. It then became the capital of the theme of Neocastra, and a stronghold against the sultans of Iconium. In 1306 the Emir of Karasi captured it from the Greeks, but thirty years later Sultan Orkhan took it from him. Save for the temporary occupation of Timur-Leng in 1402, it has since belonged to the Osmanlis. Under the name of Bergama it now forms a caza of the vilayet of Smyrna and numbers 20,000 inhabitants, of whom 10,000 are Turks, 700 Jews, and 9,300 Christians (300 Armenians and 9000 Greek schismatics). The latter have two schools for boys and girls, with about 800 pupils, and five churches. The remains of three ancient churches have been discovered.


    Thyatira
    A titular suffragan see of Sardes in Lydia. According to Stephanus Byzantius, the name was given to the city by Seleucus I Nicator; it is more probable that it is of Lydian origin. A Macedonian colony was established there (Strabo, XIII, 4); several divinities were worshipped there, such as AEsculapius, Bacchus, Artemis, above all Apollo, in whose honour games were instituted. Vespasian began great undertakings at Thyatira; it was visited by Hadrian in the year 123, and by Caracalla in 215. Lydia, the woman converted by Paul at Philippi, was from Thyatira (Acts, xvi, 13-15); John addressed an epistle to the "angel of the church", to whom he gives great commendation, but after having criticized a false prophetess (Rev., ii, 18-29). In the Middle Ages the Turks changed the name of Thyatira to that of Ak-Hissar (the white fortress), which it still bears. It numbers 22,000 inhabitants, 7000 of whom are Greek schismatics, 1000 Armenians and Jews, and 14,000 Mussulmans; it is a caza of the sandjak of Saroukhan and of the vilayet of Smyrna.


    Sardes
    A titular see of Lydia, in Asia Minor probably the ancient Hyde of Homer (Iliad, II, 844; XX, 385), at the foot of Mount Tmolus; see also Strabo (XIII, iv, 5); Pliny (Hist. nat., v, 29), Stephen of Byzantium, s.v. The name Sardes, which replaced that of Hyde, seems to have been derived from the Shardani, a people mentioned in the cuneiform inscriptions as inhabiting this region. At an early period Sardes was the capital of the Lydians, an early dynasty of whom reigned from 766 to 687 B.C.; a second, that of Mermnades founded by Gyges in 687 B.C., reigned until 546 B.C. Its last king, the celebrated Croesus, was dethroned by Cyrus. Thenceforth it was the residence of the Persian satraps, who administered the conquered kingdom. The capture of the city by the Ionians and the Athenians in 498 B.C. was the cause of wars between the Persians and Greeks. In 334 it surrendered without a struggle to Alexander the Great, after whose death it belonged to Antigonus until 301, when it fell into the power of the Seleucides. Antiochus III having been defeated at Magnesia by the Romans 190 B.C., Sardes was incorporated with the Kingdom of Pergamus, then with the Roman Empire, becoming the capital of the Province of Lydia. The famous river Pactolus flowed through its agora, or forum.


    In Revelation (iii, 1-3) a letter is written to the Church of Sardes by John, who utters keen reproaches against it and its bishop. . As religious metropolis of Lydia, Sardes ranked sixth in the hierarchy. As early as the seventh century (Gelzer, "Ungedruckte. . .Texte der Notitiae episcopatuum," 537), it had 27 suffragans, which number scarcely varied until the end of the tenth century. At the beginning of the fourteenth century the town, which was still very populous, was captured and destroyed by the Turks. In 1369 it ceased to exist, and Philadelphia replaced it as metropolis (Waeechter,"Der Verfall des Griechentums in Kleinaim XIV Jahrhundert," 44-46). Since then it has been a Greek titular metropolitan see. At present, under the name of Sart, it is but a miserable Turkish village in the sandjak of Saroukhan, and the vilayet of Smyrna. Not one well-preserved and important monument is found among the very extensive ruins


    Philadelphia
    A titular see in Lydia, suffragan of Sardes. The city was founded by Philadelphus, King of Pergamon (159-38 B. C.), in the vicinity of Callatebus on the left bank of the Cogamus (Kouzou Tchai); its location was most favourable for commercial and strategical purposes. In 133 B. C. it became a Roman possession. It was subject to earthquakes, and at the time of Augustus was almost in ruins; but, quickly restored, was of commercial importance as late as the Byzantine period. Its wines were famous; its coins bore the image of Bacchus or a bacchante. On the coins of the first century the city is called Neocæsarea, under Vespasian it received the cognomen of Flavia. During the eleventh and succeeding centuries it was repeatedly captured by and retaken from the Turks until it was definitively conquered by Bajazet in 1390. In the seventeenth century it had 8000 inhabitants, of whom 2000 were Christians. Today it has about 15,000, including 3500 Greeks. The Turks called it Ala Sheir; it is the capital of the caza of the vilayet of Smyrna, is still, on account of its fertility, an important agricultural and commercial centre; and is a railway station between Smyrna and Dinair. It possesses numerous ruins, a theatre, stadium, two walls, many Byzantine churches, etc. and has mineral springs. Christianity was introduced into Philadelphia in Apostolic times. One of the seven letters of Revelation is addressed to the Bishop of Philadelphia (Apoc., i, ii, iii, 7-13). This bishop was highly commended, and while the writer recognizes that the community is small, he tells us that the Jews who tried to disturb it were valiantly resisted by its faithful pastors. The ancient "Notitiæ" place Philadelphia among the most important suffragans of Sardes. Under Andronicus Palæologus it was raised to metropolitan rank, and has continued such among the Greeks, its jurisdiction, since the fourteenth century, extending over many neighbouring sees, later obliterated by the Turkish conquest.


    Laodicea
    A titular see, of Asia Minor, metropolis of Phrygia Pacatiana, said to have been originally called Diospolis and Rhoas; Antiochus II colonized it between 261 and 246 B.C., and gave it the name of his wife, Laodice. The city stood on a spur of Mount Salbacus, one mile from the left bank of the Lycus, between the Asopus and Mount Cadmus; its territory lay between the Lycus and the Caprus. In 220 B.C. Achaeus was its king; then it formed part of the Kingdom of Pergamus, and suffered severely during the war with Mithridates, but recovered its prosperity under Roman rule. About the end of the first century B.C. it was one of the principal cities of Asia Minor, both as to industries and commerce, being famous for its woolen fabrics and its sandals. It had received from Rome the title of free city, and it became the centre of a conventus juridicus, which comprised twenty-four cities besides itself. Its wealthy citizens embellished it with beautiful monuments. One of the chief of them, Polemon, became King of Armenian Pontus—called after him "Polemoniacus"—and of the coast round Trebizond. The city had a school of medicine and gave birth to the two sceptic philosophers, Antiochus and Theiodas. Its coins and inscriptions show evidence of the worship of Zeus, Æsculapius, Apollo, and the emperors. It is frequently mentioned by the Byzantine historians, particularly in the epoch of the Comneni, and was fortified by the Emperor Manuel. The Mongol and Turkish invasions brought on its decay, and then its complete ruin. Its magnificent remains are to be seen near the village of Denizli, formerly and more exactly called Denizli Ladik (Ladik = Laodicea), in the vilayet of Broussa; they consist principally of a stadium, three theatres, an aqueduct, sarcophagi, etc.


    At the beginning of the Christian era, Laodicea was inhabited, besides its indigenous population of Hellenized Syrians, by Greeks, Romans, and an important Jewish colony. There is extant a letter from the authorities of the city to a Roman magistrate in which the former undertake to refrain from molesting the Jews in their religious observances and customs. These Jews sent regularly to Jerusalem a tribute of twenty pounds of gold. Christianity penetrated into the city from the earliest times: Paul mentions the Church of Laodicea as closely united with that of Colossus. It had probably been founded by the Colossian Epaphras, who shared the care of it with Nymphas, in whose house the faithful used to assemble. Paul asks the Colossians to communicate to the Church of Laodicea the letter which he sends to them, and to read publicly that which should come to them from Laodicea, that is, no doubt, a letter which he had written, or was to write, to the Laodiceans (Col., ii, 1 sq.). An apocryphal epistle purporting to be from Paul to the Laodiceans is extant in Latin and Arabic (see APOCRYPHA, I, 614). Some of the Greek MSS. end the First Epistle to Timothy with these words: "Written at Laodicea, metropolis of Phrygia Pacatiana". The Church of Laodicea is one of the seven (see Ramsay, The Seven Churches of Asia Minor, London, 1908) to the bishops of which are addressed the letters at the beginning of the Revelation (Rev., iii, 14-21). 


    Remember I said that much of the 1st chapter of Revelation is found in other parts of the Bible....  here are the references if you are interested :0)


    1:4 ~ Ex 3:14


    1:5 ~ Ps 89:27


    1:6 ~ Ex 19:6; Is 61:6


    1:7 ~ Dan 7:13; Mt 24:30; Mk 14:62; Zech 12:10


    1:8 ~ Ex 3:14


    1:13 ~ Dan 7:13; Dan 10:5


    1:15 ~ Ezek 1:24


    1:16 ~ Ex 34:29


    1:17 ~ Is 44:2, 6



  • Plain Clay Balls
    Author Unknown
    ~~~~~~~~
       I remember reading a story once about a man who was exploring some
       caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag
       with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled
       up some clay and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look
       like much, but they intrigued the man so he took the bag out of the
       cave with him.

       As he strolled along the beach, to pass the time, he would throw the
       clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could throw.
       He thought little about it until he dropped one of the balls and it
       cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone.
       Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each
       contained a similar treasure.

       He found hundreds of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay
       balls he had left, then it struck him. He had been on the beach a
       long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their
       hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of hundreds of dollars
       in treasure, he could have taken home thousands, but he just threw
       it away.

       You know sometimes, it's like that with people. We look at someone,
       maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't
       look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or
       sparkling, so we discount it; we see that person as less important
       than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But
       we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that
       person by God.

       There is a treasure in each and every one of us. The Bible says we
       are fearfully and wonderfully made. I don't think he means just our
       physical bodies. I think he means our spiritual selves, which are
       sometimes hidden from others by the *earthen vessel*. But if you
       take the time to get to know that person, and if you ask the Father
       to show you that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins
       to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.

       The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly
       smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration
       that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in
       him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.

    *    *    *    *    *    *

    This is what I feel like today... a clay ball.  I feel that there isn't anyone here in my physical life as opposed to my internet life, that cares about anything I am going through.  I have been in such pain that I can barely walk... in years prior to this, I wouldn't have been walking.  The tops and the bottoms of my feet feel as if they have pins sticking all the way through them.  The balls and heels of my feet feel swollen like an injury and painful like a bruise.  Yet, I have certain things that I have actually been forced to do today, and then when I didn't do it the way someone thought I should have, I was told that if I had done it a more reasonable way, then it all would have been okay, therefore it was my fault.  I have been told that I am vane today because of the way I handled something.  I explained that it wasn't a vanity issue, it was related to pain once again and I was ignored.  Then when I asked for some help with my boys, I was told I was a bad mom for handling it the only way I could with the pain that I was having.  I had asked Mom to take the boys and I to Mass since I knew that on a good day they would be difficult for me to handle, and this pushed my mother farther away from the Catholic Church.  So did some other issues today.  She is angry now that I am Catholic and that I am raising the boys Catholic.  It wasn't the service, it was the idea that I had to go to Mass even in the severe pain I was in, that if I didn't I would have been sinning.  She said that was wrong and that the Catholic Church had too many rules.  I actually agree with her about it being wrong for me to go to Mass today..... and I tried to explain to her that it wasn't the Catholic Faith that had forced me to go to Mass.... it was another entirely different issue.... but she wouldn't see it that way.


    Soo.... today I am a clay ball, I am priceless on the inside and worthless and dried up on the outside.  I would also be easily broken... if not already.  Unfortunately, I am not sure that anyone would see the priceless part of me if I was dropped and broken... I think the priceless part would still be hidden.  I many times have trouble finding it.  I highly doubt that anyone else can find it at this point.  I opened myself up to trust and I'm now thinking that I opened up too much.  Something, I am not sure.  I must have done something wrong to have caused all of this.  The people in my life are very good people and they are Christians and they don't treat anyone else like this.  I have always been treated differently by those that love me than the way others are treated.  I am not sure what I do that pushes people in the way in which they think they need to control me, and if I don't do it their way, I am wrong.  Even my Spiritual life has been questioned today, or at least that is what it feels like.  If I knew what I did to people, you can bet, I would change it in a heartbeat, or at least I would start working on it in a heartbeat.


    I am sorry that I have been complaining with this blog entry, I really wish I could write good, and like many of the other writers I am around right now.  They write such uplifting and insipiring things, and there there is me, just complaining all the time.  I know that I am suppose to start writing things that are on my heart to help in healing, and also to write things that I know about, that is what makes good writing.  Well, sometimes I think that there is so little inspiring things in my life that there is nothing to write about that would inspire anyone, and that simply breaks my heart.

June 6, 2003

  • At two years, when Suzy had to potty, she had to go right that very moment.  She was with her mommy in the plumbing store at one of those times.  Mommy was busy talking with the sales clerk so spying the display commodes she knew what she needed to do.